Monsters

“Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife deceit and malice.” Romans 1:28

Loyalty is wild. It’s very disturbing to witness people stick beside their husband, father, brother, uncle or cousin knowing they’re a fucking monster. I’ve literally witnessed people grieve & fall out over known pedophiles and murderers. “He wasn’t in the right mind.” “He had that spirit in him.” “He didn’t know any better” “He didn’t actually pull the trigger” is just some of the foolishness they’ll project to convince themselves into thinking that their loved one isn’t a sick a fuck.

I want to tell ya’ll a story about my one of my encounters with a monster; buckle up, because this shit gets wild.

Growing up our neighborhood was so chill. Barely any crime (reported), quiet and everybody knew everybody. We had some new neighbors move in and one day I saw them outside and introduced myself. They were very friendly and welcoming; They had a daughter my age & we became really close friends. I didn’t really have a lot of friends that my mom would allow me to visit their home, so it was super convenient that they lived next door and my parents knew where I was and the people that I was with.

Now remember I said that this family was super friendly? Well, their mother wasn’t. For some odd reason, she was rude as fuck to me every time I came over. She would lie and say her daughter wasn’t home when I had literally just got off the phone with her and she told me to over. She would say things to me like, “why don’t you just stay your fast ass home & stop coming over here.” When I didn’t even know what that shit meant, but it was only a matter of time that I found out why she was so rude to me.

Her rudeness was a way of protection, in a sense. She wanted to steer me away because of the monster that lived in her home. Her husband. She knew he was a sick fuck & I would soon find out that out on my own.

It was a normal ass day when I woke up that morning. I remember asking mom if I could go next door for a few hours & she said yes. She told me to be back by dinner time, which was promptly at 6:00PM daily. I agreed and took off next door.

I knocked on the door & it was dead ass silence. Usually there was a lot more noise next door because there were a lot of children in the home. I heard someone mess with the blinds a little bit and just as I was about to turn around and walk back home the door cracked open. “Is T home?” I asked with a smile. It was her father who answered the door. I never really spoke to him or even looked him the eyes before so the interaction was weird to say the least. “She’s not home, but she’ll be here soon. You can come in and wait for her in if you want.” He said. For a brief second something came over me. It was like a wave of discernment telling me to go the fuck home. But what did I do? Go in to wait for my friend to come home.

When I entered their home it was unusually dark and quiet, but I did hear the echos of a video game down the hall. T had a brother who was a die hard gamer and never left the house. I could hear him fussing at the game, but that was it. Now initially he told me to wait for her in her room, but when I went to make my way down the dark hall he grabbed me and pulled me into the kitchen. He pulled me close, so close to his body I could hear his heart beating, smell the liquor on his breath & feel his erection against me. “Would you think I was a dirty old man if I asked to eat you out?” Huh? I was confused as fuck because I didn’t know what that hell he was talking about. I was only 15 so the only eating out I knew about was visiting McDonald’s.

I was literally frozen. This was my friends father & he was so fucking out of line. I was scared. I kept eyeing the front door, but he had a tight grip on me. I tried to break his grasp and that’s when he did the unthinkable. He got down on his knees and sniffed my vagina through my jeans. Yep. You read that shit right. He inhaled deeply and asked, “Can I just taste it.” Summoning every once of willpower I had, I broke away from his grasp and ran out of the door. I made it home and went straight to the bathroom and emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet. Feeling a mix of relief to be back in my home and disgust, I washed my hands and went back into my room like nothing ever happened. “T must not have been home?” My mom inquired. She looked like she wanted to ask more questions, but she left me alone after I shook my head “no”.

For months, I avoided my friend and didn’t ever set foot back into their home. I vowed to be more vigilant and know the signs of a fucking monster when I saw one. Needless to say, my friendship with T withered away. My mom grew suspicious but she never really asked me why I stopped going to visit. I didn’t really understand what happened over there, but I did know that those feelings of disgust were unpleasant and I never wanted to experience that again. Every time I saw my friend a whirlwind of emotions engulfed me. I wondered if her father was doing the same thing to her as well. She had sisters, cousins and nieces that also lived in the home and I can’t imagine him holding that evil in and sparing those innocent girls. I know someone else besides me was violated, but who?

Emotionally drained, I reached out for support from another friend who also lived in the neighborhood. I had sworn her to secrecy about what happened & she promised not to ever tell. To this day, she has held on to my secret, but I am not bound by the shame & guilt of that encounter anymore. I am educated and empowered enough to know that he was a fucking monster and I was an innocent child. I was not “fast”.

Now what triggered me to write this is random as hell. I was scrolling Facebook one day & guess who the fuck showed up in my “people you may know?” That fucking monster in a pic with his wife. You know what’s crazy? She wasn’t even smiling in the picture. She looked drained and he had this big goofy ass grin on his face. Someone please tell me what would make a woman stay with a man whom she knew to be a monster? I blocked the fuck outta that profile to protect my peace. Fuck both of them.

When you hear monsters I’m sure you think of mythical creatures, but I want you to start thinking of the motherfuckers who commit heinous and atrocious acts with darkness in their hearts.

As a result of this experience, and many more that I’ll share later on, I don’t allow my daughter to visit peoples homes. I don’t give a fuck who it is. I keep her close and I educate her about discernment, personal boundaries and safety. I have gone into great detail with her about inappropriate behavior from adults and peers & teach her to speak up for herself if anybody makes her feel uncomfortable. I have utilized her Barbie dolls to teach her about consent and role place scenarios. She knows that she has the right to say NO and decline any unwanted physical contact from anyone.

If you’re reading this and you haven’t educated your child about predators, can you do me a favor and start NOW. Like today?

Thank you for reading!